MY CHILD: MY ASSEMBLING OR ASSEMBLED GIFT

A Bimonthly Blog Post
Ugonna Sylvester-Ogan's Blog

Picture Source: Science News

Hello dear friend! You are welcome to my blog. Here I will be sharing some of the lessons I have learnt about parenting and other related issues as well as answering questions you might have along these lines. I trust that our journey together will be both exciting and life-transforming. Thank you for letting me into your world!

I will like to start off with a topic that God laid on my heart to share with you - my child: my assembling or assembled gift.

A gift is something we receive without paying for it.  I like to categorize gifts into assembled and assembling gifts. Let me explain what those terms mean in the context of this discourse. An assembled gift is a gift that can be put to immediate use. They can be used effortlessly because there are no technicalities or ambiguities involved in setting them up. Pressing irons, mobile phones, radio and television sets, laptops etc. are all examples of assembled gifts. All parts of these items have been assembled together such that they can function at just the tap of a button. Even though they come with manuals, you can use them without much reference to the instructions in the manual.

An assembling gift, on the other hand, is a gift that requires that you put the component parts together step by step, following meticulously the instructions in its manual before you can use it effectively. I will consider items like juicer, blender, detachable wooden desk etc. as belonging to this category. It takes time to assemble them but if you are patient enough to carefully follow the instructions contained in the manual for setting them up, you will make the best of them.

In most cases, gifts are given willingly and not for any reason at all. But, a gift can also be given in recognition of an achievement or the excellent accomplishment of a task. This kind of gift is called a reward.  The scriptures tell us that God gives us children as gifts and also as rewards. What a generous God!

Children are a gift from the LORD, they are a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3 NLT)

Sometimes, we face challenges with our children which may range from physical, academic, behavioral to spiritual, and we are forced to ask, “Is my child really a gift?” This could be quite worrisome especially when you start comparing your child to another child that seems to be doing excellently well ‘in your estimation’.
I remember the intense effort I put into helping my children with their academics when they were much younger. It was really energy-sapping to have to monitor their lesson teachers, work through their assignments with them or even read their notebooks just so I could explain their lessons to them. There was a time that I even had to hold their hands in mine as they learnt to master the use of the pen. It becomes really exasperating when they don’t pay enough attention to what you are trying to teach them often because they just don’t understand the necessity of it.

Think how it hurts when you attend the award winning day in your children’s school and discover that none of them was called out to receive an outstanding prize like others. You gaze at the speaker as he reads out the names of award-winning students and wish you could, right there and then, impute your child’s name in the list. Consider the frustration of thinking what else you could do to help your children become outstanding too. I stood in that spot for many years hoping and praying that one day, I would be the celebrated mother of an outstanding child.

I had a friend that had her three children in the same school as mine. To my amazement, all three children consistently received outstanding academic awards! They were virtually the best in their various classes. I approached her one day and asked, “Ihu, how do you do it with your kids? They do so well! Who is their lesson teacher?” She replied with a smile, “I don’t have any lesson teacher”. I was rather taken aback so, I paid good attention to learn what she had to say. “Well, I only make sure I remind them to revise their notes any time they are about to write exams and tests.”  And, that was all she did! Wow!

That definitely wouldn’t work for me but I sure would love to be in her shoes because my efforts were very exhausting. “Life is sure so easy for her as a mum”, I muttered to myself. However, God’s words reassure me that ‘children are gifts from Him’. Every parent receives different gifts, and what truly matters is how you perceive your gift. Do you see your child as a gift or a nuisance? Your child could come as assembling gift or assembled gift.

A child as an assembling gift

Any child can fall into this category. This kind of child requires so much attention one day at a time. My first and last child fall in this category especially with reference to their early childhood to early teens. With my experience, I had to always go to God for instructions and as I depended on God for their training, I realized I had more and more grace to pull through. But, now I can smile that I assembled my gift well by helping my children unleash the potential that God had put on the inside of them. What if I was waiting for God to assemble the gift by Himself rather than realizing and accepting that He has given me the grace to do so?

A child as an assembled gift

I can place my friend’s children, whom I referred to earlier, in the category of assembled gift. Yes. This kind of children are outstanding. They are the know-it-alls, mostly referred to as gifted children. However, the fact that your child belongs to this group does not exempt you from work. In fact, handling these kind of children could be more challenging. You need to watch them carefully, direct them and slow them down in some areas so they don’t lose focus of who God has created them to be.

Let me assure you that it does not matter into which category your child falls, he/she is a perfect gift from God.

"Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light…" (James 1:17 Message)

As a parent, you carry sufficient grace either to put together your assembling gift or to regulate and direct your assembled gift (whichever describes your child). All that is required is your faith and absolute dependence on God.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift. (Ephesians 4:7). Remember, no child is greater or better than another. However, how you see, fix and direct your child is consequential to who that child becomes.

"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven." (Mathew 18:10)

On a final note, I cannot over-emphasize the place of prayer in the entire process of handling your assembled or assembling gifts. As faithful wardens of these precious gifts of God, the scriptures admonishes us to watch and pray for them.

"Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5: 17)

YOUR CHILD IS A GIFT FROM GOD. YOUR ABILITY TO HELP THAT CHILD FULFIL HIS OR HER PURPOSE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD.

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."  (Mark 9: 37)

Our children shall be great in Jesus’ name!

OUR PRAYERS

"May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace." (Psalm 144: 12 NLT)